Posts tagged with "aboutme"
my nephew crying is the worst sound in the world.
an hour ago, I wrote “I’m not going to let anything get in the way of all the good that is going on in my life.”
then I went up to my dad, asked him, “did mom tell you?” (talking about the whole apartment ordeal) and he said “yeah.” and started shaking his head. he is trying to talk me into NOT moving out and, instead, driving 3+ hours/day to school and back, and, instead, not have to pay bills. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! the amount of money i’m paying for my apartment, I’D BE SPENDING IN GAS.
I cannot BELIEVE my own father is not happy for me. I’M doing this for ME. not HIM. he’s a control freak who likes having me living at home so he can have me right under his finger. well, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE. I’M MOVING OUT AND STARTING SCHOOL. people have been in FAR worse situations and still come out on top.
i’m making myself sick over what his opinion is of this situation when I know I shouldn’t be. I’m done with this place, I’m done with this empty, hollow house. I’m done with empty smiles, small town mentalities, close minded individuals and, more than anything, I’m done with the negativity that has seemed to engulfed this hell hole.
to anyone who has ever doubted me, I’ll show you. I’m more motivated now than ever to do this for ME and show the world everything I’ve got.
NOTHING BUT PRODUCTIVE
today: Sarah and I found an apartment, applied, and payed the deposit. move-in date is April 10!! I’m so excited. Sarah and I just get along WAY too well to NOT be roommates.
tomorrow: meeting with my financial advisor at Toni & Guy and getting a tour of the school. SO EXCITED I’M FINALLY STARTING SCHOOL.
I’m not going to let anything get in the way of all the good that is going on in my life.
got to spend last night with Chandler.
we were up until 5am and i’m exhausted but ugh
waking up next to him was nothing but flawless.
that moment when you wake up, stay still and take in the sunlight, the quiet in the room, and see someone you love in their most vulnerable, innocent state is the most calm feeling I’ve ever had.
I have such a supportive boyfriend. Red Bull hired me to shoot the last two days (Saturday/Sunday) of a local music festival. never before have I been with someone who cheers me on like Chandler does. he’s constantly telling me “go kick ass today, baby!” and “good luck, baby! I know you’ll do amazing!”. I am such a lucky girl. I was working until 3am one morning and 1:30 the next so I’ve been super tired and haven’t been able to text him/call him like I normally do but he’s still super supportive and understanding.
this is happiness.
I’ve been so busy with taking care of my mom, work, getting ready for school, work, work, moving, etc. that I didn’t even realize my birthday is in TEN FUCKING DAYS.
AND I HAVE NOTHING PLANNED.
thank GOD my boyfriend remembers everything. whew.
I mentioned getting some more sleeve work done to my parents today and, of course, my dad got on to me about it.
then I explained to him WHY I get tattooed.
I told him it’s therapeutic for me. that I would rather get tattooed then cut. and as soon as those words came out of my mouth, something clicked in his brain. like, “holy shit, there’s a PURPOSE behind this.”
I think my dad finally understands.
my parents confronted me tonight.
they want me to pursue singing. I told them I want to, but I’ve gotta get over stage fright first. I don’t even care if nothing comes of it and all I do is play for my friends and at open mic nights at coffee shops.
I just want to sing.
Chandler just told me the band might be going on tour again soon.
but he just got baaaaack :C this will be tough.
but he’s worth it.
all I can say is, I’d make one HELL of a girlfriend. Nikki is sick so I made her chicken and rice, took her temperature, gave her medicine, put on Workaholics for her and I’ve got a fire going in the fire place. 1up!
it is so surreal sending and receiving “hope you’re doing well” emails to musicians I looked up to and followed in High School. le sigh.
my. life. fucking. rocks.
Day 1/25: 15 Basic Facts About You
- I’m originally Canadian.
- I’m plus size (and learning to not be afraid to say it!)
- I live in North Texas.
- I’ve lived in 3 countries and 12 states in the U.S.
- I have a(n) (un)healthy obsession with The Wonder Years.
- I start college in the spring at the Toni & Guy Academy.
- I’ve only had one relationship in the last 2 years.
- I’m a recovering self mutilator and a rape victim.
- My nephew is my world (and soon my niece, too!)
- This is really hard.
- I suck at math.
- I don’t have many friends.
- I’m bisexual.
- I try my hardest to always be positive.
- I’m a photographer. (how’d I almost forget that one?!)